Respect in Caregiving
By Gunilla Norris
Posted on
Respect for ourselves and for the one we care for is a central attitude to live and to be lived by. We simply do not and will not know the truth and fullness of anyone’s personal life for it is hidden even as we live it. Who are we? Who is the one we care for? Who someone was at the vibrant age of twenty or later at the tottering age of eighty is still the same soul – a soul that has lived and learned, has suffered, made mistakes and has loved and been loved.
All that living can’t be summed up as if one could add up a life like a column of numbers. Both the caregiver and the care receiver are mysteries. Can we learn to respect that about each other and see that it makes for equality between us?
Because one person needs another, there can be a way we give and a way we receive that is diminishing. Suppose we can’t do for ourselves. Suppose the one who is caring for us is burdened. Who is the needy one?
Still, the one in charge has more control and more power. And deep down we know that power can corrupt. How easy it is to fall away from our basic equality, our basic, human neediness? How easily, in taking care of someone, we can lapse into an unconscious feeling of superiority and so act disrespectfully.
Respect is the growing medium that lets us become more of who we are. It is what lets us bloom even when we face death and disease. The meaning of our lives will never be summed up, but their beauty and fragrance can keep unfolding. We need prayers to sustain our work and connection to God. Praying for greater awareness is to respect our humanity. We will often fail, and even so we are trusted by God to love and do the best we can.
Daily I forget that I am yours,
that you made me for love’s sake,
that you hold my being
with infinite respect.
May I receive that wondrous gift
and know it to be
a gift that’s been given
to everyone.
Let me cultivate respect.
Gunilla Norris is the author of 11 books on the spirituality of the everyday. She has been a psychotherapist in private practice for more than 40 years and has felt privileged to accompany many people on their journeys to growth, healing and spiritual connectedness. With Mental Health Counselor John Roarke, she will co-facilitate “Care and Prayer: Support and Inspiration for Those Engaged in the Holy Tasks of Caregiving,” April 19, 2020.